#96: The Danger Of Role Models

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This is a podcast episode titled, #96: The Danger Of Role Models. The summary for this episode is: If you liked this episode, we bet that you’ll love our blog content. blog.drift.com/#subscribe Subscribe to never miss a post & join the 20,000+ other pros committed to getting better every day. ----- We've talked about the importance of role models and surrounding yourself with the right people. But there can be dangerous side of role models too. Tune in. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts if you haven’t already and say hey on Twitter I’m @davegerhardt and David is @dcancel.

Dave: The mic. crosstalk.

Speaker 3: Its warm in here.

Speaker 2: Are we back?

Dave: We're back.

Speaker 2: We're back.

Dave: We're back.

Speaker 2: I am, Dizzy right now.

Dave: Why?

Speaker 2: Because you all know Amy but what you don't know about Amy, is that Amy is the style queen of drift.

Dave: That fact.

Speaker 2: And she said...

Dave: That's facts.

Speaker 2: I forgot, what were the words? My bracelet-

Dave: You forgot, you forgot-

Speaker 2: My bracelet game-

Dave: Said, your bracelet game was on fire? Your bracelet game is on point lately. Something like that.

Speaker 2: Damn.

Dave: That's pretty good.

Speaker 2: Style points from Amy.

Dave: That's pretty good.

Speaker 2: Let's go. crosstalk

Dave: Okay. All right. So I got a couple. [Crosstalk 00:00:54]

Speaker 2: I'm psyched. Let's do this [crosstalk 00:00: 55 ].

Dave: I got so many topics. crosstalk.

Speaker 2: Michelle is here also. crosstalk

Dave: You hit me on it. Every channel this week. Let's talk about, we're going to talk about the danger of role models. All right.

Speaker 2: So let's go.

Dave: You loyal seeking wisdom listeners out there. You know that we talk about role models, a lot. The Importance of role models but we're going to talk about today. There's a flip side of role models.

Speaker 2: Danger.

Dave: Do you know?

Speaker 2: Absolutely.

Dave: Okay.

Speaker 2: The dangers, so I hit up, I've been sending DG messages on all communication channels.

Dave: Name it. He wrote crosstalk me a letter over the weekend and landed in my apartment.

Speaker 2: Boom, boom, boom, emails, videos, this messaging, chat, texts, crosstalk.

Dave: Yes, yes, yes

Speaker 2: Emails, everything. So I sent them one on... We have to do seeking wisdom on the danger of role models.

Dave: I think this was a PSA to me, this was a PSA.

Speaker 2: This was.

Dave: Come on.

Speaker 2: All right.

Dave: This is what this podcast is for Crosstalk.

Speaker 2: I'm going to come at him, I'm going to come.

Dave: This is what this podcast is for.

Speaker 2: All right. I didn't want to call you out-

Dave: This is what this crosstalk podcast is for.

Speaker 2: But I was trying to, this is a PSA, public service announcement for my man DG here because I'm trying to keep him humble, in check and focused.

Dave: You do a good job at all those things. You do a very good job.

Speaker 2: I had to take it up a notch.

Dave: All right, all right.

Speaker 2: All right. So we talk about the power of role models all the time and how powerful it is to learn from role models and to model yourself because that's something that happens with us is that if we're around the right people, we can't, we tend to model ourselves in that direction. So if you're around a bunch of people who, let's say a bunch of friends who are really healthy eaters, right? And so they're great at eating, they're great at exercise and you spend all your time around those people. You will probably average yourself to them.

Dave: You have no choice but to do it.

Speaker 2: No choice, even if you're not thinking about it and you'll probably get healthier and you'll be, and you eat better because you're around those-

Dave: Here's a good example. Young DG never read a book in his life.

Speaker 2: Never.

Dave: Came to drift. He reads books! What do you know? [Crosstalk 00:02:57]

Speaker 2: Lots of books. He's posting to my books. So it's about that. So we talk about, wow, that can be used for good, but it can only, it could also be used for bad if you're, and the difference is if you're not intentional about it. And so the PSA that I sent to DG here was, here's what you want to do when you're trying to achieve something, whether that's in health, wealth, personal, emotional, and spiritual, those are perfect places where you can choose a role model and try to model yourself in that direction but, and this is the DG. What can also happen is if you're not intentional about your role models, they can lead you to a bad place. And so an example would be if you live in a certain neighborhood.

Dave: Shmell smend.

Speaker 2: A fancy neighborhood. If you're young, married with a baby and you live in a fancy neighborhood and you spend your time around a lot of fancy people, you're probably going to average yourself and compare yourself to them and see who be spending a lot of money. You'll be living a lifestyle that is proportionate to theirs, right?

Dave: Mm-hmm(affirmative).

Speaker 2: And it's comparable to theirs. And that is exactly what you don't want to do on the personal side of things. So, my virtual mentors are people like Sam Walton, they're all old men.

Dave: You said, you need to have role models in business but in your personal life, you have personally chose, chosen, chose I'm from Worcester, sorry. You have chosen not to live with those people. crosstalk inaudible.

Speaker 2: So I don't live with my, and I haven't for years, the places I live are not with what-

Dave: You don't live-

Speaker 2: I consider my peer groups. So my role models or mentors,

Dave: Sure.

Speaker 2: I don't live in their neighborhoods. I live in different neighborhoods that are around more normal and grounded and people that I want to be around. And I do that on purpose because or else you'll kind of ratchet up. And so my mentors, my virtual mentors are people like Sam Walton, Charlie Munger, Warren buffet, et cetera. And, what's common with all those people when they're cheap. So my, two, they probably, they don't live extravagantly in their life. Also another virtual mentor of mine is Dave Ramsey read the total mini makeover. I'm going to get a copy for DG and his, for his wife. So they read it. I had given that book to Ellis. Many years ago-

Dave: That's what turned him into this monster?

Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

Dave: No, he's not really.

Speaker 2: He was a bigger monster before but anyway, sent them that book. And the whole thing was, live below your means and get around people like that. And then when you're trying to achieve, you want to get around people that are ahead.

Dave: Remember the thing that you talked about? Which is mentally people you default to be at like a 130%, something like that.

Speaker 2: Yeah because you're, say you live in this fancy neighborhood called South End. Let's just make that a-

Dave: Its hypothetically.

Speaker 2: Hypothetical, right. And then you're going to average to the people around there. A lot of fancy people, a lot of spending, your spending and your fanciness will go up. And then even when you do that, even though you're living this great life, you may feel like, wow, I need more, I need more because you will always naturally ratchet up. Right. That is the thing that keeps us focused on progression. Right. That's built into all of us. That's why we progress. That's why we keep seeking, right. Is we have this natural tendency to want to ratchet things up, whether it's 130% or whatever the number is. And so you constantly feel like you're just chasing yourself to get to that level. So instead, gave my friend a warning to stay frugal, stay lean, and have reverse role models or have different role models there than you do on the professional side.

Dave: Yes. There's a great scene. There's a documentary about Warren buffet on HBO. And the beginning scene is-

Speaker 2: When he goes to McDonald's.

Dave: He's going to McDonald's and every morning his wife puts like two dollars and 26 cents in the cup holder of his car, and he goes and gets like two egg McMuffins crosstalk on his way to work. I drink eight dollar juices.

Speaker 2: He drinks eight dollar juices in the morning for him, his wife, in the afternoon-

Dave: And there's a-

Speaker 2: And at night and weekends its just, its out of control.

Dave: Its out of control.

Speaker 2: So you want to ratchet down, right? Because, and this is the thing that Dave Ramsey always says, and I love Dave Ramsey he's like," you want to be weird", right? When it comes to personal finances and your personal life, he said," because normal is broke, stressed out. And that is normal in America."

Dave: That's most people, right?

Speaker 2: Yeah hat's everyone, whether they live in the South End, just using that as a weird example, crosstalk.

Dave: Its close.

Speaker 2: You know it could be anything. crosstalk.

Dave: Its cool crosstalk.

Speaker 2: Cause here's this thing about-

Dave: It's right, its right here.

Speaker 2: Back Bay or whatever but that's the thing when you, in your personal life, remember that there's a danger. If you don't, not intentional with your role models, you will naturally average yourself to them. And that might lead you in a bad direction. Just like if you surrounded yourself with people that, and you weren't intentional, who smoked all the time, drank all the time or did whatever, crosstalk capable at the time.

Dave: Or it's same thing that we talked about when we did the original episode on role models, which is you're the product of the people that you're surround yourself with. And you talked about when you were younger at the time, you didn't know what else, because of who was around you, you didn't know what else was possible.

Speaker 2: No, not at all.

Dave: Right, so you didn't know that any of that stuff was possible. So same thing, right?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Dave: If you, if your role models are only the rich people living in the south end, you think that that is the normal.

Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. So it's all about being intentional. And so in for most of us, this is the part of our lives where we're not intentional. And so it will be, things will happen because of that, that we don't know that are happening.

Dave: Yes.

Speaker 2: So that's my warning to young-

Dave: Amen.

Speaker 2: People who live in the South End, and-

Dave: That is...

Speaker 2: Who have babies.

Dave: So if you're out there,

Speaker 2: With red hair.

Dave: If you're listening out there and you have a baby with red hair, careful.

Speaker 2: Careful.

Dave: Watch yourself.

Speaker 2: All right.

Dave: All right.

Speaker 2: So remember-

Dave: Speaking of role models.

Speaker 2: Role models could be going in the wrong direction. And as you're thinking about role models and mentors and using them being intentional or not let's be intentional and leave a six star review on apple podcast. Shout out Michelle went out-

Dave: You're very good at this CTA.

Speaker 2: And shout out to Amy in the reviews because we need more reviews. Cause I'm trying to get Dave to commit to 5, 000 people coming to Hypergrowth next year.

Dave: Do you know what? Drop me a lesson. Tell me about frugality in the reviews. Tell me what I should be cutting out. You follow me-

Speaker 2: Tell him.

Dave: on Instagram.

Speaker 2: Juices don't count.

Dave: Juices don't count.

Speaker 2: They gave you that one.

Dave: They gave you that one also they're very good for you. So that's a count but you know other things-

Speaker 2: They're super healthy they're-

Dave: The other things.

Speaker 2: Going to be rationalizing, rationalize. All right. So leave that in the review. Give Dave a hard time in the reviews-

Dave: Please.

Speaker 2: Please. He needs it. We need to make him harder and stronger, faster.

Dave: Every day.

Speaker 2: Let's go.

Dave: All right we're out of here.

Speaker 2: All right, see you.

Dave: See you.


If you liked this episode, we bet that you’ll love our blog content. blog.drift.com/#subscribe Subscribe to never miss a post & join the 20,000+ other pros committed to getting better every day. ----- We've talked about the importance of role models and surrounding yourself with the right people. But there can be dangerous side of role models too. Tune in. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts if you haven’t already and say hey on Twitter I’m @davegerhardt and David is @dcancel.