#60: Fear (Why It Holds Us Back)
D.C.: You are?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
D.C.: It's on?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's on. What's up people?
D.C.: We missed you.
Speaker 2: Man, this podcast is blowing up. So much so, that we're going to start dropping little... Actually, no. Here's the reason why. D. C. aways sends me these little nuggets and I don't know how to make them full 15-20 minute episodes. So-
D.C.: crosstalk Little nuggets.
Speaker 2: Little nuggets. I kind of like what Gary V. does with a little two, three minute rant. I think you-
D.C.: Gary V. you're going to owe me advertising for all the free advertising on this show.
Speaker 2: Legit. We could do a podcast on that.
Speaker 2: All right. You texted me this this morning. I don't know what we'll call it yet, but you talked about the biggest secret of overcoming fear and why fear holds most people back.
Speaker 2: So what's up?
D.C.: So I had this thought this morning about fear and about how fear holds us back and thinking about why it holds us back. It's very simple. The things that hold us back are kind of built into us, right? We're fighting a kind of evolution. So we're now in this hi- tech modern society talking about Hyperloops and electric cars and flying to Mars and all of that, but evolution hasn't caught up yet. We're still working with a 60, 000 year old mind right now and that 60, 000 year old mind is what causes us to want to eat as much as we want to eat, as much food is in front of us, because 60,000 years ago we didn't have a problem with abundance. Food was hard to get. The 60, 000 year old mind is also what keeps us fearful from doing things that we think will bring on haters. Will bring on change, will cause other people to stop and laugh at us and say," Look at this dumby, why do you do this thing?". So that fear that you've had since you were a little kid and you don't want to get ostracized from your groups at school is this 60, 000 year old mind kicking in.
Speaker 2: Just deeply... and you can't even control it. It's just deep in you.
D.C.: Ingrained in us until we evolve. So all day long, we're fighting fear and that's why most of us are afraid of doing something new. Of change, of taking a chance, of starting a company, of starting a project of, asking someone out, whatever it is, whatever your fear is. It's you fighting yourself from this 60, 000 year old mind.
Speaker 2: So how do you fix that?
D.C.: That's a good question.
Speaker 2: Come on, that's what I want you to tell-
D.C.: There's a couple ways. I'd say one: some people are better at this than others because they have this kind of mindset. I sort of had this mindset, I think this has been one of my things that since I didn't come from anything that I never had anything to lose. So I always had this mindset of whatever I do, whatever chance I take, whatever risk I take, I don't really have anything to lose there's no downside for me.
Speaker 2: You don't give a fuck.
D.C.: Yeah. Otherwise, I don't give a fuck. So I've always had that notion, there's no downside, in a more gentler way, I've thought about it. I've thought about it in a way that's like, what's the worst thing that can happen? Not much.
Speaker 2: I like that. You've talked about that. You didn't know any other way and so you didn't know whether what you're doing is right or wrong because you didn't know another way.
D.C.: It didn't matter. By the time I had my first job, my early, early twenties, I was already making more money than my parents had made. Their whole lives. So like, what was the downside? Right?
Speaker 2: Right.
D.C.: Even with all that risk.
Speaker 2: You already talked about the reason you went to the college that you did is because that was literally the only college that you had ever heard of or knew.
D.C.: Yep. So I think one thing you can do is remind yourself that for most of us, if you're listening to this, you're amongst the most lucky and privileged people that there are on the planet and that there is no downside in taking that risk. I think the other way that you can deal with it is by exposure therapy. What I mean by that is, you can expose yourself little by little, inch by inch, day by day to take on larger and larger risks. By exposing yourself, you start to train yourself to get over that fear. That is how most people that we look at, you ever look at those videos and you see those guys that from Red Bull? Doing something insane, doing an insane trick or jump or whatever and you see other people doing incredible feats, physical feats. The way that they're able to do that is progression. They've progressed and they've taken one step at a time and trained themselves not to be scared in those scenarios. They're just a human, they're just like us, but they've trained themselves. So, using exposure therapy, exposing yourself to these fears day over day, lets you get used to it and lets you decide that this is a new normal.
Speaker 2: It's the same as the thing that we talk about a lot at work. Relating that back is like, just ship it to get that first version out there, because you don't know what's going to happen.
D.C.: It's the same fear holding us back, right? So all of this stuff is the same at the root of all anxiety. We've talked about this is fear, right? This fear underneath. So you've got to get to the fear and say, what's the worst thing that can happen? I think we spend all our time fearing what about if I change my job? What about if I do this? What about if I take this risk in my life? What about if I do this stuff and then people laugh at me? But we never spend time thinking about fearing the one thing that we all should be really scared of, which is living a life full of regrets. We never spend time with it.
Speaker 2: There's a great... One of these old quotes," If you're anxious it's because you're thinking too much about the future. If you're depressed, it's because you're thinking too much about the past."
D.C.: I love that quote. So, a little thing that I want everyone listening to this to think about is, make sure you're not living a life full of regrets. Regrets because you let fear hold you back from taking a chance. Go out there, take a chance. You can do it. What's the worst that can happen?
Speaker 2: I love it. All right.
Speaker 2: We're out.
D.C.: We're out, five stars only. Let's go. This is the army.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny, now that we've so D. C.'s book dumb is now on Amazon, www. amazon. com. Google it: dumb.
D.C.: Yeah. One word.
Speaker 2: There's already seven, five- star reviews only. People even go to Amazon, they did five stars.
D.C.: So you heard my nephew. If you've already left us a five- star review here, go download the book, leave a five- star review on Amazon. Show these people Seeking Wisdom is coming. We're part of the tribe we'll bring in this. They can't stop us. It takes a nation of millions to hold us back.
Speaker 2: I love it.