#129: The Biggest Learning Mistake Most People Make

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This is a podcast episode titled, #129: The Biggest Learning Mistake Most People Make. The summary for this episode is: Do you find yourself only learning from people that you like? If the answer is yes, then your growth is in serious jeopardy. Because guess what? There are not that many people in the world who are perfect. If you choose to wait around until they are, or until you like them, or until they have the right experience, you’re going to be waiting a very long time. Whatever the case may be, you must avoid this pitfall that Charlie Munger calls: The Liking/Loving Tendency. If you don’t rid yourself of it, it's going to be your biggest roadblock to growth.

DC: And we're back.

Dave: Yes.

DC: Seeking Wisdom. This amazing Seeking Wisdom. We have three video stars over here on the other side.

Dave: You get mad at me when I give out our secrets. Now you're telling how many people do video inaudible

DC: Okay. Shh shh.

Dave: Three piano players.

DC: Piano players. All right. What are we talking about?

Dave: So-

DC: Because this is final.

Dave: Jam packed week. This is final episode before Hypergrowth east.

DC: Okay. Final seems crosstalk.

Dave: Nah, it's not dark. It's not dark. There's a lot of stuff-

DC: Do you have to tell me something?

Dave: Do I have to tell you something? Oh this is it, we're cutting DC out. No, the people want DC. I still think the bot is broken though but here's what I want to talk to you about. You said something interesting. So Gonzalez is gone.

DC: They just left.

Dave: This is-

DC: Who are you?

Dave: This is management. I'm Dave I'm DG, AKA the nephew.

DC: I'm DC the uncle, the reason I ask you that-

Dave: Why do you ask that?

DC: We have thousands of new subscribers per week.

Dave: We do.

DC: crosstalk

Dave: We got to let people know because I want people to be comfortable. I want this show to feel like they're comfortable, they're sitting near our desks and they're just hanging out. So thank you for joining us. This is actually episode probably we're in the 130's now. Yeah and it's got to be more than that but thing I want to talk to you about today is you have an interesting lesson. I get a couple interesting lessons from you and recently you told me about a bias. Well you've been talking a lot about cognitive biasees. Okay.

DC: Oh nice.

Dave: You liked that? Biasees, not biases. You shared interesting one that I hadn't thought about a lot and it is the opposite of, one of the biases is liking/ loving tendency. Can you take a couple minutes on this podcast today and enlighten us and explain that to the world?

DC: Why did you pick that one?

Dave: It's something that we're talking about at Hypergrowth.

DC: Okay.

Dave: Okay. Coming up at Hypergrowth because leading up to Hypergrowth. Okay the agenda is amazing but we got a couple comments.

DC: Yeah.

Dave: There's a couple speakers on there that people don't like so much.

DC: That's why you did it.

Dave: There's a couple speakers in particular that people, some ruffled some feathers because they're speaking. They don't like this person. They don't like this person's point of view. This person can be very aggressive and your comment to that is what?

DC: Yep. I'm going to give you that comment but before I do that-

Dave: Yeah.

DC: One thing we should do on video in the future is do a zoom in on my face when DG is telling me what the episode is about and see the look of wonder because-

Dave: Where we going?

DC: I have no idea what we're talking about ever. No idea. So I'm just like, what is it going to be inaudible I'm mildly panicked every time he starts going. Okay so this is an important one. Super important one and one that I want to reference at the beginning of Hypergrowth.

Dave: Yes.

DC: September 4th. Next Tuesday in Boston, Massachusetts. We're almost sold out.

Dave: Don't give it away because this episode will air before that. So it's okay. But if you're coming, if this is what you're listening to, if you're one of the thousands of people flying in from Berlin-

DC: Belgium.

Dave: Hong Kong, from Belgium

DC: Australia.

Dave: From Canada, from wherever, right. If you're listening to Seeking Wisdom, which you probably might be on that Monday. Here's the key lesson to take with you to Hypergrowth.

DC: So the key lesson is and this bias comes from a famous video that I always talk about. Well it's actually just famous to me, no one actually watches it but the video is by Charlie Munger. Man I admire. Great and it's about human misjudgment, right? And in it he talks about this one thing, which is liking- loving tendency, right? He calls it a tendency. You can also look at this in a Cialdini's work on Influence, one of our favorite books and the important lesson here in liking bias is this. That most of us only want to learn from people that we like or that we want to be around, right and took me a long time to learn this one. This is one of the biggest roadblocks to growth because guess what, there aren't that many people in the world who are perfect. There's no one who's perfect. So if you're going to wait around until someone's perfect. Until you like them, until they have the right experience then learn from them. That's going to be short list. You're going to be waiting a long time. So why this is important when we think about coming up with speakers for Hypergrowth is that we intentionally went out and picked out some speakers that I know will take you to the next level in your thinking, if you can get over this bias. Right and they're going to probably ruffle your feathers. You might not like them. They might be controversial. You might not want to get a coffee with them or hang with them but we picked them because they were able to teach you, we believe, to teach you some stuff that will take you to the next level. If you can get past this bias. So what I'm asking everyone to do, not only to the thousands of people coming to Hypergrowth but anyone listening to this episode is to think about this in your day to day and to be willing to put aside your personal preferences of who you like, who you might be able to learn from and learn from people who might not be your best friends, who might not be perfect, who guess what might be flawed and we're all flawed.

Dave: So I love that advice because it's so easy to only learn from the people that you like, right. Whether that's a teacher, whether that's somebody at work that you're getting feedback from because you always got to anticipate feedback. Or when you're just choosing who to learn from because it's easy to say, I liked that guy, yeah I believe that lesson. But that also plays on another bias, it's kind of related to confirmation bias, right. Which is you're going to believe what you want to believe. So I think this is interesting because, but it doesn't mean listen to everybody though, it means still have the filter of has that person had more success than you or done something that you want to achieve.

DC: Ideally done it repeatedly.

Dave: Correct.

DC: Right and ideally in a realm that you want to learn from.

Dave: This doesn't mean listen to some jerk, doesn't mean take everybody's opinion and start taking consensus, right.

DC: Quite the opposite.

Dave: But if there's somebody out there, maybe it's a YouTuber right. We talk a lot about video. Maybe it's somebody on YouTube who you do not like but they have grown a massive audience on YouTube. You have two options. You could say, screw that guy he's a jerk I'm not going to learn anything from him. Or you could be like, how did he grow that massive audience? Oh, they always do thumbnail images like this and they always have the descriptions like this. There's still ways to learn, it doesn't mean that you're that guys fan. You're going to go see that person speak or you're going to go hang out but there's ways to learn.

DC: Guess what we have someone that meets that criteria.

Dave: Who me?

DC: No coming to speak next week at Hypergrowth.

Dave: Oh we do?

DC: Someone who has a massive YouTube audience.

Dave: Casey?

DC: Not Casey, another person, the one who will be controversial.

Dave: Grant Cardone?

DC: Yes. So he'll be speaking and a lot of people might not like him.

Dave: Nope.

DC: But we think there's a lot that you can learn from him. If you study his YouTube, you study what he's doing. You'll see that there's a lot that he's been able to do on the social media side.

Dave: I think there's actually a related thread, which is this is not about liking somebody but also you might, just because I mentioned Casey and I said as an example, you might say I don't make videos. No I can't learn anything from him.

DC: Oh, I like where you're going.

Dave: It's related to this, I don't make videos. To me this is at the core of why we do Hypergrowth the way that we want to do it and I said this earlier, did an interview with a press member earlier for something that's going to drop on Tuesday.

DC: Was that a humble brag?

Dave: A humble brag yeah. Actually I do the tier two stuff, you got the tier one. So yeah I'll take this one. But in the conversation we said, look this is not a conference where you're going to learn about sales and marketing tactics and that is on purpose. We bring people from all around the world, authors, athletes, CEOs because we believe that you have to learn from other people and so we believe that you're going to get the best marketing lessons from people who are not marketers. That's what I think this all relates down to.

DC: Super important because sometimes I'll talk about the old uncle Charlie Munger. Not me. crosstalk The old, old uncle Charlie Munger and people are like I'm not investor, I don't care about investment. I don't want to be a billionaire. That's not what we're talking about. That doesn't mean you can't learn something from that person or I'm not an athlete, I don't plan to go to the Olympics. No but you can learn something from their journey and how they were able to grow.

Dave: Can I give you an example of this? Last month I was on vacation, we were in Hilton Head and every day we'd go to the supermarket and every day I would go to check out and I would look and I'd be just sitting there, I didn't have my phone. I'm looking at magazines and every day I would see the National Inquirer. Okay? Everybody would say that is a trash magazine, right? It's all gossip, tabloid, whatever but I actually learned something amazing from them because the headlines that they publish in every edition of that magazine are insane. So boom, I was able to learn something about marketing from a piece of trash magazine, right. And brought that back and I did a podcast on it and people were like, really? You can learn from. Yes. It doesn't mean that I'm saying, go read the thing but I think there are lessons that they know. They probably have millions and millions and millions of subscribers to that magazine, right?

DC: Absolutely and the nephew and I are co, we won't tell them the title of the book yet, maybe we'll talk about it later. We're reading the same book at the same time or almost the same time and it is about a politician and I won't go into politics.

Dave: No you said don't say it. You said this is secret, secret.

DC: It's secret, secret.

Dave: It's about politics.

DC: Politics.

Dave: I don't know nothing about politics.

DC: Some people that we don't love but we're able to put aside that and when I gave it to you I said, put aside the bias. Put aside your notions.

Dave: Read it.

DC: And just read it and see if you can learn something from it.

Dave: Study it.

DC: And have you?

Dave: Oh my God yeah. Mind blown.

DC: Mind blown.

Dave: There's so many things to learn and I think that I wanted you to talk about this lesson because it gets you to be, is it objective? Subjective?

DC: Not subjective, objective.

Dave: It gets you to be objective. See.

DC: Folks he's from Worcester.

Dave: He's from Worcester. He's just figuring out things for the first time.

DC: Public school in Worcester. No he went to private school.

Dave: Yeah I went to private school. Yeah my mom's a gym teacher. We went for free. So yeah there's a lot in there and the other thing that I think is important is it also broadens the universe of who you can learn from, right. If I'm in marketing and I say, I'm only going to learn from marketers because that's what I do, right. Then how do I know? Marketing is the thing that I love and I want to get better at. I look through everything from a marketing lens now, right. Okay, what can I learn from that person? How did they build an audience? How they persuade people to go and do this thing?

DC: You just blew my mind. I didn't know your mom was a gym teacher.

Dave: She still is.

DC: Now it makes sense.

Dave: It does?

DC: Yeah.

Dave: What the raw athleticism?

DC: If you don't know, Gerhardt over here, DG is quite the athlete.

Dave: Used to be.

DC: Used to be. Yes.

Dave: Are you listening? To all you Worcester people on this podcast. Listen to the man. Listen they're all in the car dying right now. No way.

DC: So we were at a camp drift last week, little outing we did with the company.

Dave: I'm still recovering.

DC: I was watching DG throw spiral.

Dave: They don't want that.

DC: Respectable.

Dave: See I can do a little something.

DC: I was like wow.

Dave: I haven't thrown a football in about 10 years.

DC: Gone.

Dave: Appreciate that.

DC: I didn't think he had that in him.

Dave: DC was just rolling around on the scooter. Can you talk about camp drift for a second? Talk about camp drift. What did we do? Why did we do it?

DC: So we took everyone in the company here in Boston, also out in San Francisco. Flew them out to this campus.

Dave: About 200 people.

DC: About 200 people to this camp that we rented. So it's a kids camp in Lenox, Massachusetts, which is out in the Berkshires and we spent two days effectively, not on cell phones. Cell phones were not allowed, not on computers but focusing on the now, right and getting to know each other better and so we did everything from color wars. I got roasted.

Dave: I did a roast of David and Elias which we can play. crosstalk The talent show was amazing talent, the talent show was such a cool example of what a company can become because there was people that I have no idea. The company has grown so much I don't know everybody now. Somebody that I never have seen or not seen but never have talked to in my life gets up on stage and just sings and you're like, whoa. crosstalk You had Gonzalo in the band of misfits up there on stage. It was amazing. crosstalk

DC: So we had color war, we had talent shows, we had workshops, improv classes taught by people on the team.

Dave: Meditation crosstalk Basketball, all this stuff.

DC: It was amazing and yes I did bring my, it's not a scooter, it's called a one wheel. Look it up one wheel and I was cruising-

Dave: If you're going to be at Hypergrowth, we have a nice video of DC on the one wheel by the way.

DC: So I was on my one wheel. I got some comments, some questions about whether I walk anymore or not but I was on my one wheel zooming around and Elias actually brought his one wheel too.

Dave: He did.

DC: And then two of us were just riding around camp on one wheels and we got roasted by that, by your own nephew.

Dave: It was amazing. I did not want to go.

DC: Yeah, neither did I.

Dave: I didn't want to go, it's a lot to be away and it was amazing. We had an amazing time. It's just a good reminder of, if you get outside of the building with the people that you are with so much every day you learn a lot. The whole drift team was shattered though. Two nights in a row, we were up until three in the morning and just-

DC: A mess.

Dave: I'm just getting back to a hundred percent. It's Wednesday right now.

DC: If you want to see a few pictures from that, check out my Instagram Dcancel, right. We also have some on insidedrift on our Instagram handle there, check that out. I'll have a question though.

Dave: What?

DC: G2, what speaker are you looking forward to next week?

Dave: Oh, come on.

Speaker 3: Casey.

Dave: It's not even close.

Speaker 3: Casey.

Dave: crosstalk

DC: Dan says, Casey.

Dave: Elizabeth. inaudible. Do you know. Casey, somebody needs to go help him when he gets there. You know who's going to get him out of the car. How's that? crosstalk He's been saying to me, DG I'm going to hang out with Casey. I'm going to hang out with Casey.

DC: Look at his face. He's like a little kid.

Dave: Leah also has a biggest, she's going to be so embarrassed. She has the biggest crush on Casey Neistat. So she's coming. She's coming, she's going to meet him and it's going to be amazing.

DC: Wow and you're going to be hanging with Allie?

Dave: Allie.

DC: Yep.

Dave: That's it.

DC: Are you a gymnast? Elizabeth? No?

Speaker 5: No. [ crosstalk 00:13:59]

DC: I love it. All right so it's September 4th, here in Boston.

Dave: It's here.

DC: It's here next week. Sneak in your tickets right now.

Dave: If you don't have tickets it's going to be too late. We are recording this on a Wednesday. I'm pretty sure that by Thursday morning we're going to have to put up the sold out sign.

DC: But we still have tickets. A few left for September 24 in San Francisco. Amazing lineup, including Rich Roll. Many others.

Dave: Rich Roll, Patty McCord. The lineup in San Francisco is insane.

DC: Sick. So we'll see you in San Francisco if we don't see you in Boston. Don't forget to leave a six star rating. Do a little shout out for Dan, Elizabeth and the one and only, G2.

Dave: And tell us, you know what. Tweet at DC. I want you to tweet at Dcancel and I want you to tell him what one of the cognitive biases that you suffer from.

DC: You are doing well with that word.

Dave: Thank you inaudible it's a big mouthful, cognitive bias. I'll give you one, confirmation bias is a good one. Is that the number? Do you think that's the number one? Is it the most common?

DC: Yeah for sure.

Dave: Other than that, it's this one? Liking- loving.

DC: Liking- loving tendency.

Dave: What's another one?

DC: I don't know. It depends on the person but confirmation is the biggest one crosstalk and liking- loving tendency. Commitment bias.

Dave: Commitment. Check out your biases.

DC: Yeah, let's check it out.

Dave: All right send us out of here.

DC: Anyways, shout it out. We're out of here. Six star ratings only. I want to see more ratings but I'm still holding. We have a whole set of new shows coming out. New channels. I'm still holding them hostage until we see some more six star reviews come in.

Dave: Thank you.

DC: They're being held and then we have a whole slew of them coming out and shout it out to the young Venezuelan who has a crush on Casey Neistat.

Dave: As he should. That's a good example of role models by the way, you chose wisely. If you're going to be obsessed, be obsessed with that.

DC: All right. See you.


Do you find yourself only learning from people that you like? If the answer is yes, then your growth is in serious jeopardy. Because guess what? There are not that many people in the world who are perfect. If you choose to wait around until they are, or until you like them, or until they have the right experience, you’re going to be waiting a very long time. Whatever the case may be, you must avoid this pitfall that Charlie Munger calls: The Liking/Loving Tendency. If you don’t rid yourself of it, it's going to be your biggest roadblock to growth.