33: Why You Can't

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This is a podcast episode titled, 33: Why You Can't. The summary for this episode is: If you liked this episode, we bet that you’ll love our blog content. blog.drift.com/#subscribe Subscribe to never miss a post & join the 20,000+ other pros committed to getting better every day. --- Struggling to start a new habit or make progress toward a new goal? Here's the reason why (and how to fix it). Come hang out with us at seekingwisdom.io and on Twitter @seekingwisdomio. Follow David (twitter.com/dcancel) and Dave (twitter.com/davegerhardt) on Twitter.

Speaker 1: All right, we're rolling.

Speaker 2: We're rolling now?

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Rolling, rolling, rolling.

Speaker 1: All right, this is a little impromptu Seeking Wisdom.

Speaker 2: That's it.

Speaker 1: And you just called it Why You Can't.

Speaker 2: Why you can't.

Speaker 1: Okay, tell me.

Speaker 2: Otherwise known as Why It's So Hard.

Speaker 1: Okay.

Speaker 2: So we're known, we're kind of infamous now about talking about why things are so hard,

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 2: That things are hard. And, I think a common thing that I see is that when people know it's hard, right? But they think that the hard part is that they don't know something.

Speaker 1: When you say it, it could be anything, it could be starting a company starting a new project, starting a workout, starting a diet, starting whatever.

Speaker 2: You nailed it.

Speaker 1: Okay.

Speaker 2: So it could be anything that you're trying to achieve. Right. And they think that the hard part or the missing gap is the knowledge. And that might be true, but it's usually, you know what to do, right? Whether it's losing weight, whether it's going into business, whether it's starting a new project, whether it's writing or painting-

Speaker 1: Or you might not know what to do, but you know, you're thinking about it for a reason you want to get to the, you know what the end result is going to be. Whether it's being more healthy, losing weight, getting 10,000 new people to your website, whatever the goal is. Right.

Speaker 2: Exactly and we often talk about how hard it is and the reason that I think it's hard is, not typically because of the knowledge, especially in today's world, where you can find anything you need in a snap of a finger.

Speaker 1: Yeah, you know all the answers, you don't know how to do it.

Speaker 2: Exactly. Or at least, you know how to find out the answers. The reason I think it's hard is because in most cases you're fighting evolution, right? You're fighting your own human instincts and your own body in most cases to get this stuff done. And I think this is something that, this is one of those things that we've heard kind of our whole lives, it's ancient wisdom. You've heard kind of different ways of saying the worst enemy is yourself. Right. You know the answer, look in the mirror. Whatever it is, we've heard these old sayings. And I think now we're starting to find the science to validate these things.

Speaker 1: Okay.

Speaker 2: Whether it's learning about in the case of weight loss, learning about the different bacteria microbes inside your stomach lining that are kind of demanding sugar, right? Or it's other habits that we're learning about that are built into our instincts. And these are the things that you're fighting against. And, so the way to fight against those things are to develop new habits, right? And that's the way to kind of condition yourself, but it's hard, right? There's lots of great books on habit stacking and learning new habits and kind of how long it actually takes to learn a new habit. But that's the way to get around this.

Speaker 1: So you're saying you can fight, so the evolution is what is kind of keeping you where you're at, but you can fight it by being open, to developing new habits.

Speaker 2: Absolutely.

Speaker 1: Which goes back to the broader theme of why we even do this in the first place, which is the whole seeking wisdom thing. And always be learning right.

Speaker 2: Always be learning. And it's a-

Speaker 1: Whoo am I good at tying this together or what?

Speaker 2: You always tie them together, he ties together my rants.

Speaker 1: No, but I think this is, I want to do a future episode on this, but I think it's relevant. So let's talk about it for now, which is, you mentioned you and Aaliyah's here as good examples of people that are, you know things, but you're still always open to learning, right? It's this default to wrong kind of mentality.

Speaker 2: Yes.

Speaker 1: And that factors into, so this is what you're saying is you can get started if you're just open to learning more things and breaking old habits.

Speaker 2: Yes, and breaking old habits and knowing that you might just need to develop new habits in order to get around your body's, around evolutions desire for you not to do certain things, whether it's you want a six pack abs, I want some six pack abs. I definitely do not have six pack abs, far away from that world. But your body doesn't want you to have six pack abs, right? Your body wants you to have a layer of fat over there because you still have the 10,000 year old evolution that you're fighting against because you want survival. Right. It doesn't want you to be shredded. Right. That's a new thing. And so in order to get shredded and to get abs, especially if you're not genetically predisposed to it, is you need to develop these new habits that fight evolution, that fight your body, it's desire for homeostasis and staying the same.

Speaker 1: Yeah it's all about the outside the comfort zone. But this is actually, that's a physical example.

Speaker 2: Yes.

Speaker 1: Right. And it's even harder, most people that are listening to this probably, are at a desk for eight to 10 hours a day, right. And so on top of the evolution thing, you're in an environment that is not conducive to that.

Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. And you don't want to stand. And so back to evolution, in that example you're, and this goes, everything ties back together, right? So this goes back to role models and changing your peer set. Because from an evolutionary standpoint, you are built to want to blend into your tribe or to your surroundings, right? You don't want to stand out. Right. Because that is, that works against you from an evolutionary standpoint, you don't want to stand out. You don't want to be the exception you want to regress towards the mean, right. So it's not that, only that you're lazy or that you're just around the wrong people. It's, you need to know that from an evolutionary standpoint, you need to change that peer group, because it's hard to fight your own built- in will that wants you to look like everyone else.

Speaker 1: Yeah, you said to me, you told me that I need to readjust the people that I am looking up to, or readjust who you think your peer group is, right. Because everybody's just kind of defaults to the average, right? But if you start to get past a certain point or say, whatever, let's just talk about working out. That's what we always, we mentioned that, right? You start working out, you start getting good at it. If you want to get better, you have to readjust.

Speaker 2: Exactly you need probably a new environment, a new set of people and new role models to go after, or else you will stay. It's too hard to fight your instincts and evolution to say no, I'm going to be the exception. I'm going to be around a bunch of people who are at a much less level than I am, but I'm going to be the exception always. There are always, you'll find examples of people who can do that, but it is hard. You're fighting against your built- in instincts to want to blend into the pack. And so you need to break that by developing this new habit, in this case, which is I'm going to constantly go towards new sets of people who are ideally way above where I am now. And so that regressing to it's mean means that I actually have to push myself to their mean right to there.

Speaker 1: So you're saying this isn't why you can't is just accepted. Here's why you can't, because of evolution.

Speaker 2: Yeah because-

Speaker 1: Now you have to understand that and then know what to do because of it.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I loved the way Dave re frames.

Speaker 1: Well that's how, you know me. I got to organize the chaos.

Speaker 2: Yes.

Speaker 1: Okay, so we're recording this, you came in right away first thing and said, hey, I got an idea, let's record it. What were you doing this morning that prompted you to have this thought.

Speaker 2: Idea sex. So-

Speaker 1: Uh- oh, the unconscious came out.

Speaker 2: Came out. So the idea sex happened.

Speaker 1: You were reading seven books at once.

Speaker 2: Yeah, reading seven books, podcasts, different books, so lots of different things that I had been thinking about and reading too long to list. But then I was listening to another podcast, Joe Rogan's podcast, great podcast. And he had Chris Kresser on, someone who I've read a lot of his stuff over the many, many years because he's big in the paleo community. And I've fallen off the paleo wagon, but I was pretty hardcore paleo for about at least three years, maybe four years. Kind of early paleo, right. It tied into the CrossFit days. And so I knew of Chris Kresser and Chris was talking about all the stuff that they're validating, discovering now, whether it's kind of what I mentioned, the bacteria that wants sugar that demands it and how you have to change your kind of composition or the makeup of your gut bacteria, and talking about probiotics and all that stuff in order to kill those cravings. Right? So the cravings are even built to that level.

Speaker 1: Yeah. This is a random side note, but you just made me think that this book that I'm reading, I'm still on this ad kick. And one of the ad examples I read last night, it was an early ad for cigarettes. And the promo for cigarettes was that it helps you with weight loss.

Speaker 2: Yeah. That's awesome.

Speaker 1: How insane is that. Think about the evolution, speaking of evolution,

Speaker 2: Yeah, it does.

Speaker 1: The progression, there's ads in the 1930s and 1940s saying, hey, you want to lose weight? Smoke cigarettes.

Speaker 2: Oh yeah? So that's good ad copy.

Speaker 1: Yeah cool. All right, so why you can't.

Speaker 2: Why you can't, now you know, go develop some new habits.

Speaker 1: Also, my new favorite thing that you've been saying is you have a message for the haters? Is one-

Speaker 2: Tell me about the haters.

Speaker 1: Unsubscribe.

Speaker 2: Unsubscribe, man, please. Unsubscribe.

Speaker 1: All right, we'll talk to you on the next episode.

Speaker 2: Remember this tip, you can't fight intolerance with your own version of intolerance.

Speaker 1: Damn, that's good. Whose quote is that?

Speaker 2: D. C's.

Speaker 1: We're out.

Speaker 2: Later.


If you liked this episode, we bet that you’ll love our blog content. blog.drift.com/#subscribe Subscribe to never miss a post & join the 20,000+ other pros committed to getting better every day. --- Struggling to start a new habit or make progress toward a new goal? Here's the reason why (and how to fix it). Come hang out with us at seekingwisdom.io and on Twitter @seekingwisdomio. Follow David (twitter.com/dcancel) and Dave (twitter.com/davegerhardt) on Twitter.